Manuscript Cut One: Hominid Mummies

As I have gone through my soon-to-be-published book, I have found a few items that will not make the cut into the actual volume. Although I would like to include these items, it is unnecessary for me to do so as it is truly only reiterating items that are already within the manuscript. As a result, I am left with a number of items from one of the drafts of my book that will never be officially published under my actual name (as my Blogger identity is nothing but an alias). The following item is one such example:

The discovery of a hominid cryptid cadaver is so rare that it becomes a worldwide phenomenon instantly upon publication. In the last century, there are cases of a number of hominid mummies, but I feel that we can learn the most by specifically documenting three cases of these cryptic corpses. Unfortunately, the history of hominid mummies has been full of disappointments, ranging from reports of unclassifiable bodies that never produced any results to outright hoaxes. This has discouraged many cryptozoologists to the point that many of them will refuse to even consider the possibility that a carcass has been uncovered if such a case ever presents itself to them. I see this as counterintuitive because these same cryptozoologists spend their time searching for reports which they find viable, but when the possibility of discovery is ever presented, they refuse to give the claim any notice. I understand their frustration, but I have to admit that even the most far-fetched claim regarding the discovery of a Bigfoot-like hominid deserves investigation. Anyhow, I have chosen to organize this appendix in reverse chronology (those that were discovered most recently will appear first and then I will work my way backwards).

1. August 2008:

In the state of Utah, a Bigfoot carcass was discovered in a small wooded area. The unnamed discoverer claimed that the animal was either dead or dying so assistance was contacted, which swiftly rushed the beast to the nearest hospital. The men that had taken the animal in demanded that the animal be classified, as it was clearly not an animal that he had ever seen or heard of. Without much hesitation, the doctors informed the frantic people of its shocking identity: a rubber gorilla suit.

This story is so utterly obnoxious that I have had a difficult time relaying this story to many without laughing to myself. I cannot understand how anybody could have mistaken a rubber gorilla suit for a dead or dying Sasquatch. This case was so absurd that I was embarrassed to state that I thought that the existence of an American ape was plausible the following day. I believe that this account is notable because this incident perfectly portrays why many people have such a hard time considering the idea of unknown animals. Although there are many other cases of seemingly valid hominid carcasses, I chose this instance over the others because this demonstrates the first issue that cryptozoologists face when attempting to argue the existence of unfound animals: incessant hoaxes. The next two cases will show two other issues that cryptozoologists face in the midst of their research.

2. 1995:

Loren Coleman, after working on a segment of Unsolved Mysteries about the Minnesota Iceman, received a phone call from Pakistanis who had something very interesting to say. They claimed that they were aware of the location of a corpse that was similar to the one pictured in the program. Although attempts were made to re-contact them, nothing ever came of them. For more information concerning this hominid mummy.

3. Fall of 1967:

One day, Terry Cullen, a zoology major from University of Minnesota, was perusing through a carnival near Milwaukee, Wisconsin when he came across an unusual exhibit that was claimed to hold a “man left over from the Ice Age”. He was instantly intrigued, and, motivated by his excitement, he tried to pique the interest of several anthropologists. When he failed to do this, he got in contact with Ivan T. Sanderson, who happened to have the “father of cryptozoology,” Bernard Heuvelmans at his house at the time. Together, they arrived in the area and examined the exhibit for months. They were so fascinated by the hirsute man that the owner had frozen in a block of ice that they began writing many articles on the possibility that the Neanderthal man could remain extant. Ivan T. Sanderson wrote many papers which appeared in multiple magazines, including his famed essay “Missing Link” in the May 1969 issue of Argosy Magazine. In 1974, Bernard Heuvelmans co-authored a book with Boris Porshnev entitled L’homme de Néanderthal Est Toujours Vivant (The Neanderthal Man is Still Living) that discussed the Minnesota Iceman at length. Sanderson nicknamed it Bozo and Heuvelmans dubbed it Homo pongoides. Eventually, after a long period of time, the original Minnesota Iceman disappeared and was replaced with a model.

All three of these cases end abruptly and disappointingly, which is part of why I selected these three incidents. The first ended with an obvious hoax, the second with no lead to follow, and the third ended with an abrupt disappearance of all evidence. All three of these scenarios appear quite often in cryptozoology, so I felt that it would be interesting to demonstrate these points in a unique way. The appearance of Bigfoot-like cadavers has certainly made cryptozoology more fascinating to study at the very least.